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Nobody here is worth caring about, even provisionally. |
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Hassler is, of course, soon assassinated at the orders of ruthless space agency honcho Jason Webb (Wymark), and the entire espionage storyline is then dropped entirely. I repeat, entirely. It has almost no relevance to the rest of the Journey to the Far Side of the Sun story, except to persuade a reluctant NASA that it should fund the mission described in the title. Still, that's a nice trick with the eye.
So let's summarize. Secret documents. A fake eye with a camera in it. The cold-blooded assassination of the spy for political reasons. A space agency run by a man who will not stop at murder to achieve his goals. All glossed over after the first half hour. Seriously. If you wanted to, you could call this movie Journey to the Far Side of the Never-Mind.
Starting over: Eurosec starts preparing a mission to a planet that has been discovered sharing Earth's orbit, albeit in perpetual opposition with the sun as celestial midpoint. The American, Col. Glenn Ross (Thinnes), is a stalwart sort with a troubled marriage. His wife Sharon (Lynn Loring) enjoys telling him that it's his fault that they've failed to conceive a child, because exposure to radiation from prior space flights has rendered him sterile. He is, she snarls at him, "half a man!" Nice lady. Especially since the real truth, which Ross secretly knows, is that she's been taking birth control pills. The heartwarming tete-a-tete ends with Ross smacking her around and thus establishing that she's probably done the right thing.
A long way to nowhere very different
After about an hour of this and assorted other jiggery-pokery involving the interminable preparations for this mission, the mission finally takes off, carrying Ross and his fellow astronaut John Kane (Hendry). Their interplay is so dull it makes one long for the snappy comic stylings and overwhelming personal charisma of the Apollo astronauts, contemporary to the making of Journey to the Far Side of the Sun; frankly, even the (deliberately) emotionally muted Dave Bowman and Frank Poole of the previous year's 2001: A Space Odyssey come off as cool as Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. by comparison. The addition of a couple of unnecessary dream sequences, in a film that needed more padding like Mel Gibson needs more problems with the B'nai Brith, slows things down still further, as do scenes of the astronauts moving in vacuum that, by that point, make the zero-G ballets of the aforementioned 2001 look downright manic.
Does anything of note ever happen in Journey to the Far Side of the Sun? Well, finally, with about a third of it left, a crash-landing on the new planet leaves Ross and the critically wounded Kane evidently back on the very Earth they left, where Ross is understandably asked some very hard questions about how it is that the mission ended up returning home after only three weeks instead of six. There's a hard interrogation taking place in a circular chamber that Webb has evidently had constructed for that very purpose, leading to obvious questions about how often the head of a space agency would need such a thing. You certainly won't find any such place in the contemporary NASA tour.
The explanation for Ross' troubles ultimately turns out to be that the planet on the far side of the sun is an exact doppelganger of ours, duplicating everything that happens on ours in simultaneous mirror image. He is therefore stuck on the mirror world while the mirror Ross is stuck on ours, an exchange that leaves him and his double both struggling with reverse lettering on cologne bottles and light switches that are somehow always on the wrong side of the door. His marriage still sucks, though, so there are some handy-dandy points of reference. (However, we don't ever get back to what the hell was going on with Herbert Lom.)
Gerry and Sylvia Anderson were the creative team responsible for a series of science fiction marionette shows that included Supercar, Thunderbirds and Captain Scarlet, all of which seemed genuinely cool to kids growing up at a certain time and place and are utterly difficult to endure for even a few minutes decades later. (They also made the live-action shows UFO and Space: 1999.) These productions benefited by impressive special-effects miniatures, of the sort that cannot be mistaken for anything other than special-effects miniatures but retain an odd integrity even so. The same can be said of the spaceships and set design of Journey to the Far Side of the Sun, which are good enough to raise its overall grade by half a letter. But the real problem is that their characters remain equally cardboard whether their limbs are being pulled by strings or motivated by real human flesh. Nobody here is worth caring about, even provisionally.
You could remove the first two thirds of Journey to the Far Side of the Sun and make a passable half-hour episode of Twilight Zone. It wouldn't be a great episode, but viewers wouldn't have to sit through the rest of it to get to the point.
-—Adam-Troy
